As a kid I was good at making deals and negotiating to get the things I wanted. This involved pushing back bedtimes, scamming grandparents, and sometimes even working for things when I couldn’t talk my way into or out of something.
My dad did not believe in the South Carolina Child Labor Laws, so at the age of 14 I began to work. Hard and often.
Over those next 15 years, I had various sales jobs. I sold Hawaiian shaved ice, pretzels, frozen lemonade, cotton candy at NBA games (best job ever), rugs, health insurance, life insurance, and even cars. The car thing still gives me nightmares…
Something I like to do at the end of readings and after the kids ask a bunch of questions is throw out a sales pitch.
So the other day I was reading to a school and decided I was going to have some fun and go all “Don Draper” on these kids and really sell them on getting a copy of the book. The pitch varied from group to group depending on age but mostly went something like this:
“Raise your hand if you want a copy of the book.”
(They would all raise their hands.)
“Well when I was your age, I was really good at getting what I wanted! Sometimes I would beg, do chores, or I’d even cry every once in a while if I had too! If you really want a book, just tell your parents you’ll do the dishes, take the garbage out for a week or even offer to cut the grass. I’m sure one of these things will work. Now go out there and show me what good little sales people you are.”
When I got back to the school on Friday, not only did I sell more books than I have at any other school, but I had this waiting on me:
A Ziploc bag with $7 in paper bills and the other $8 in pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters (All of which I couldn’t even get into the shot.) I like to think this kid got the $7 out of some elaborate deal he struck with his folks. The other $8 I assume came from his 401k (piggy bank.) It was one of the cutest things that has happened to me since I began all of this. I hope the kid is happy and enjoying his new book.
And I hope his parents got some yard work out of it…
